Worst Jokes Ever
A man finds out his wife is cheating on him with his best friend, so he hires a hitman to shoot his wife in the head, and his friend in the balls. The hitman charges $100 per bullet. The man agrees.
Later, they set up, and the hitman looks through the scope and says, “I can save you $100!”
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
As I am from South Carolina, I just thought about something Jefferson Davis would have thought about:
"Them slaves taking credit for everything."
Wanna go to suicide school, then time travel to Hitler's bunker and ask him to teach you?
What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!
Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.
Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."
A guy is talking to an Indian therapist.
He had a red dot, and the American thought it was from a sniper rifle and tackled him and said, "I thought the red dot on your head was from a sniper rifle!"
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Yo mama so old, she walked into an antique store, and they didn't let her leave.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped your grandma.
Yo mama is so ugly, she made dirt look like a supermodel.
Yo mama so ugly even bullets refuse to kill her.
Yo mamma is so ugly, even Ripley wouldn't believe it.
Yo mama so ugly, she's only allowed to go out on October 31.
Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
Yo mama's so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
Yo momma is so ugly even the trash man wouldn't pick her up.
Yo mama so ugly, just after she was born, her mother said, "What a treasure!" and her father said, "Yes, let's go bury it."
"What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?"
"Sofishticated."
Stolen dad jokes: "I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
Does that dick match that forehead? 👀