What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?
One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.
Worst Jokes Ever
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
My girlfriend told me she’s sad because she’s put on a bit of weight.
I told her to keep her chins up.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"
Welcome to Peyton's Orphanage, where you make it, we take it!
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Did you know that the letter "f" in "orphan" stands for family?
What kind of flower do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising...
(DOORS)
What door is the first door that opens for you?
The elevator to go to the game.
Q: What is the difference between Americans and Africans? A: Some of them have food, and some of them don't have food.
You know why I only date disabled people? Cause they can't get away.
Your mama so fat, it took all the trees to build her a coffin.
Yo mama so ugly when she looked in the mirror, her reflection threw up and ran away.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Your hairline goes so far back it looks like Will Smith slapped it.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
The death of JFK must have splattered on the news.
