Worst Jokes Ever
Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.
Why did the chicken enter the cave?
Because it wanted to get to the Dark Side.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...
Bees don't sting Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris stings bees.
Why did the girl never go upstairs?
Because she had no legs.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
What do you call a pedophile who's dying? You.
Chuck Norris once pissed in the tank of a semi as a joke.
It is now known as Optimus Prime.
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Sally fell off the swing.
Sally has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
I invented a new word today.
Plagiarism.
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.
I brought my girlfriend home and introduced her to my family. My kids liked her, but my wife seemed upset.
Where was Stephen Hawking during the house fire?
The top of the stairs.
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were stuck on an island, and the closest populated island was 100km away. So in turn, they try to swim to the island. The brunette swims 10 km then drowns. The redhead swims 30 km then drowns. The blonde swims 50 km then gets tired so she swims back.
What do ambulances and gay men have in common? They both take it in the back and go whoop whoop! :D
A jumper cable walked into a bar. The bartender said, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything!"
Two WiFi routers got married. The ceremony was OK, but the reception was amazing.
A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."