Worst Jokes Ever
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.
Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens?
All they said was, "Bach, Bach, Bach..."
What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.
Why are colds such bad robbers?
Because they're so easy to catch.
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.
What did Schrödinger say to Shakespeare?
"To be and not to be."
Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
How many Mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? -- Just Juan.
How did the hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
What is the best thing about living in Switzerland? -- Well, the flag is a big plus.
What do Japanese men do when they vote?
They have an erection.
How does NASA organize a party? -- They planet.
What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.
How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? -- The wheelchair.