Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
He was also dead.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree?
He was stapled to the first one.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What did one cell say to his sister when she stepped on his toe? Mitosis!
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
Chuck does not cut butter with a knife, he cuts a knife with butter.
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
Why was the guitarist arrested?
He fingered a minor.
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
When Kim Jong-un said "nuke the Chinese", he meant put the take away in the oven. Some simple misunderstandings start a war.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
What's small, brown and crispy?
A baby in an oven.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because he was stapled to the punk rocker.
Justin Bieber
Your life (ಥ ͜ʖಥ).
Nickelback.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.