Worst Jokes Ever
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I've never heard them.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
I had an animal pun contest today. He started off by saying something. I don’t remember.
Then I replied, “TOUCAN play that game.” He went silent, and my other friend barged in and said, “Don’t you think he’s CHICKENing out?” I said, “Yeah, just stop HORSING around!” He came back with one, and I ended it by saying, “Ok, let’s MOOOOOve on cow.”
Welp, that’s it.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?
My last if she knows what's good for her.
What do 100,000 battered women have in common? The bitch was wrong!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
What's the difference between a pile of babies and a Lamborghini?
I don’t have a Lamborghini in my garage...
You know buddy, that is really...
boroning.
What does a doctor do to make you better?
Helium.
Why did the Ice Cube complain about being so warm? Because he was dropped on the floor.
What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other? "I feel really wiped."
What’s green, fuzzy, and falls out of a tree? A pool table.