Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Did you hear about the cannibal that came home late?
His wife gave him the cold shoulder.
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
I asked a man for ten dollars for a cup of coffee. The man said coffee was only a quarter. I told him I was putting all my begs in one ask-it.
A man walked into a bar... He got seven stitches.
What did the angel say when it went to heaven? Well, halo there!
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of a car and you realize there's somebody inside.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
You look tall for being a yellow dwarf. You are 432,450 miles tall!
You look tall for being 432,450 miles tall!
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it's too long." Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you'll never get it."
A doctor is at a bar one night and notices a young lady at the counter. He approaches her and says, "Hello there miss, pardon my intrusion, but I was curious to know, if someone were to pay you a million dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady smiles and says, "That's a lot of money, of course, I would."
The doctor smiles and says, "That's interesting, but what if someone were to pay you 5 dollars to sleep with them, would you?"
The young lady says, "What, are you joking? That's no money at all. Of course, I wouldn't. What do you think I am?"
The Doctor smiles again and says, "We already established what you are, now we're trying to establish a price."
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Snort poo poo.
I wish I didn't have depression because all my friends have "BBC Bitch be crazy" disease.