Worst Jokes Ever
What did Bob the police officer say to his chest?
"You're under a vest."
What's Stephen Hawking’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
Q) What shampoo and conditioner did Stephen use?
A) Head and Shoulders.
Q) What’s Stephen’s favorite food?
A) Shoulders.
For real tho RIP Stephen Hawking 💕
What's a hamburger's favorite color?
Burgundy.
If you wanna hit somebody, hit an orphan, what are they gonna do... tell their parents?
I have a penis.
How's that for a fucking joke? It's not a joke. It's terrible.
500 thumbs down and I'll lop off my dick with a razor.
My son is so ungrateful. I bought him a trampoline and he just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
Pep called; they want their unpadded bra back.
There were three cats. The first cat said, "Meow." The second cat said, "Meow." The third cat said, "Meow meow." Then the first cat said, "Don't change the subject!"
The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.
What's the difference between your mom and your dad? One leaves your life to go get milk, and the other cleans up after you, feeds you, and does your laundry.
A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
What did Stephen Hawking say when he died?
I'm logging out.
What do we call a Canadian gay, disciplined cunt?
What do we call a gay Canadian?
Sophisticated cunt.
Dr. Brody: Sir, your son has a disease called boofa.
Dad: What's boofa?
Dr. Brody: Both of these nuts in your mouth.
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK