Worst Jokes Ever

If Dusty's dad from Home Alone 2 was in NASA, how come he is not famous?

How Jupiter was discovered.

Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.

Why do ducks have feathers?

So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the toilet? Because the “p” is silent.

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

One man's trash is another man's treasure... Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you're adopted.

Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?

So, a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "Alright, so a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "I’ll give you a drink if you can tell me a meta joke." So the guy says, "So a guy walks into a bar and asks for a drink." The bartender says, "Okay, here you go." So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.

Knock knock.

- Who's there?

- The doorbell repairer.

One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.

The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)

I joke about 9/11 because if I did it, it would have a tendency to crash and burn.

I'd tell you a joke about infinity, but I'm afraid it will never end.

Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.

Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"

Jimmy: "That's great!"

Doctor: "A horse with cancer."

1: My grandpa died last year.

2: What kind of cancer?

1: He was hit by a bus! It's called bus cancer.

I guess Grandpa took the elevator to Heaven.

He definitely didn't make it up the stairs.

What do cells call their friends with? A cell phone.

What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?

A bullet.

In Portuguese, "Trumpa" means bullshit.

That moment when you realize you do not have a joke and someone ends up laughing at what you still wrote anyway.