Worst Jokes Ever
How do you paint a wall red?
You shoot a baby with a .50 cal.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
Weenis long.
Q: What do you call a tsunami?
A: Your mom's water breaking.
What do Communism, Socialism, Feminism, and Fascism all have in common?
They are all disabilities.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A dead zebra 🦓
Today, my mom gave me a lecture on how to stay safe during school shootings. When my brother walked past, my mom asked me a question: "What do you think of going through kids' heads during a school shooting?" That's when my brother came back downstairs and said to me and my mom, "Bullets." We don't talk about this anymore.
What's the difference between a blonde and your computer?
You don't want your computer to go down on you.
What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.
I don't want to taco about myself.
I broke the sink yesterday; the handle just blew right off! My dad was so mad, he blew his stack!
There is a ghost baseball game and one team loses because of one player so they start booing him!
A bowman walked into a throne room, and he bowed to him.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
A boy is sitting in a dentist chair getting braces, and a dentist comes in and says, "Brace yourself!"
One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.
Sixty years ago, Stephen Hawking's teacher got fired for accidentally making an offensive joke. What was it? Go for your dreams, kids. Reach for the stars.
So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.
Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"
Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."
Bob: usudgbhdkb g
Ham: usudgbhdkb g