Worst Jokes Ever
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.
Me: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Person: Why?
Me: Because he wanted to.
Me, holding a baby: "Oh my God, it's so cute!"
Also me: "Throw it."
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
How do you get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
How do you get them out?
Doritos.
What's a Latino's favorite sport? Lacrosse.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
My sister said, "Daddy can you pass the salt?" So I raped her.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
A man and a cow are stuck on train tracks, and there is a train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does he save, the man or the cow?
Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.
dfg.
If hi = hi?