Worst Jokes Ever
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
So, my friend's birthday is in a couple of days, and I was wondering what to get him.
He hangs out at my house a lot, so I suggested adoption papers.
There was a chicken sitting on the bench. Then came another one. Then there were two.
How do you make a tissue dance?
You give it a little boogie.
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
How do you get a clown to stop smiling?
You shoot him in the face.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
NONCE
I'm like a broken refrigerator, cool but broken inside.
Your Fortnite win rate.
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!
Rainbows top the class, as they always score with flying colors.
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
People shouldn’t be afraid during a zombie apocalypse.
They can stay in their living room.
My wiener's small.
What did Onett and Threed reply to their child?
"I love you Twoson."
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.