Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who?
Who who, I'm an owl.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
So I was in the car with my mom one time and we always joke about me being adopted (I am not), and Michael Jackson's song "Billie Jean" sounds like my name, and so my mom says, as the song is playing, "(My name) is not my daughter, she's just a girl who claims that I am her mum." Wow. *applauds for mother* Love you momma =)
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
Q: What's the best thing about fucking 28 year olds?
A: There's 20 of them.
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
This shit is disgusting but funny.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"