Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

This isn't a joke. My dad went to the shops for some bread 16 years ago. He still hasn't returned. Should I be worried yet? Or should I wait a year?

"I hate going to weddings, because the old lady next to you always whispers in your ear, 'You're next.' So I started doing the same to them at funerals, 'You're next.'"

"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."

Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.

  • 4

    • Ten Catholic priests all die in a bus accident. When they arrive at the pearly gates, St. Peter acknowledges them. He sees that they're all priests and immediately says "If any of you are pedophiles, there's no point waiting here. You might as well eff off straight to hell right now!” Nine of the priests turn around and begin to walk away. St. Peter calls after them, "AND TAKE THE DEAF BASTARD WITH YOU TOO!”

  • 6

    • Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister." Daughter: "I don't have a..."

  • 0

    • I'm made with depression and extra anxiety, then a side of gay and a sprinkle of emo.

    So, I am an emo dude, so I sit in the back of the class, and I talk to no one.

    But one day this dude came up to me and tried to talk to me, so I just ignored him. Then he got really pissed off and said, "I'm gonna kill you." I was like, "You're gonna kill me just because I ignored you? Is your ego that big, wow?" He left. Then the next day he brought his goons with him and said, "Now you're dead." I ignored him again, and he said, "You will pay for this."

    So the following day after school I was walking down the street back to my house. Then he and his goons tried to attack me, but then they died, so I kept on walking. I had some rope traps set.

    This was the best day of my life.

    This is why you never mess with emos. We have ropes everywhere.

  • 2

    • This site is darker than fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.

    7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.

    All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.

    7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.

  • 7

    • Have a sink in your house? Eat it.

    Have a mouse in your house? Kill it.

    Have a child in your house? MICROWAVE IT.

    ...just kidding. Now watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y5tjtUFL0j4

    I have a saying. Whenever you find a sink, there's probably a dead baby inside it...