Worst Jokes Ever

I talked to a future suicide bomber. I told him, "ISIS ain't got sh** on me because I planted a bomb and lived."

When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?

Incest is wincest. (That was above.)

Fun for the whole family!

Next of kin, count me in!

Why was the washing machine laughing?

It was taking the piss out of the knickers!

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

What do you call a dog wearing a beret?

Smeargle!

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What’s the best part about having sex with 23 year olds... there’s 20 of them.

Confucius say, "Man who bite electric wire get shocking experience!"

What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?

Quarter pounder with cheese.

How do you organize a space party?

You planet.

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

We spend the weekend getting the poop out!

Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.

Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?

Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.

Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?

Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.

LOL xD

Guy 1: P-gay or T-gay?

Guy 2: P-gay sounds cooler.

Guy 1: Yeah me too. I don't like P-ewDiePie, always love T-series.

Guy 2: Omg what did i just say? I wasn't even knowing what were you talking about :<

Guy 1: Like I do care :$

Guy 3: But I do care :<

Guy 1: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

Guy 2: But you do care about me.

Guy 3: No.

Guy 2: F*ck you.

Guy 3: Do it.

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Guy 1: Why is my cat so angry?

Guy 2: Because she wants to eat your big sausage.

Guy 1: Don't you?

Guy 2: Yeah, it seems delicious.

Guy 1: Mmm, so... w-wait what are you doing? I didn't think you meant the one in my lunch :< Where are you leaving #_#

**Meow...**

Guy 1: Shut up, I will never feed you this sausage. It's not for you :< -_- </3

Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?

A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.

Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?

A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.

I got a horse and I named it Hermio-nae.

How do bees get to school?

They take the buzz.