Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
For absolutely no reason.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."
Q: What breed of dog is supposed to laugh at all of your jokes?
A: A Chihuahua.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
My friend thinks he is funny.
He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because some kid was flossing!
I hate myself.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.
He'll probably leave her alone now.
He doesn't eat vegetables.
A joke: my life, hahahahaha! Wait, it's not funny.
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Big tits.
What is the difference between a blond and a Nazi?
The blond survived.
O Dario tem namorada?
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?
"Meow!"
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.
They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.
How is a woman like a condom?
Both spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.