Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so fat when she asked for a bathtub, they put a blanket over an ocean!
Your momma's so fat, a whale said, "Hello, Mom!"
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
It was the year 1912. I was in the SS Titanic, and I woke from a dream to think, "I've heard of wet dreams, but is that WATER?"
How does an apple fall from a tree?
I don't know, ask Sir Isaac Newton!
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
I remember my uncle's last words:
"I don't think we're going shooting today."
My family.
"Abortion: Another word for dying at spawn."
How did Stephen Hawking die? He lost Wi-Fi.
What does an apple and a gay person have in common?
Both fruits hang in trees out in the Middle East.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Orphan: Shooting gun at shooting range, "I'm out of bullets, got a magazine?"
Guy: That's probably because you're single.
Why can't orphans go on school field trips?
Parent Signature: _______
Why did the skeleton cross the road? To prove he had guts! :)
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.