Worst Jokes Ever
I got hit with a can of soda.
It doesn't matter, it was a soft drink.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
They asked to tell them a joke, so I said no.
If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he.
There was a wedding so sad that even the cake was in tiers.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Ice cream is just like I scream.
What Happens When You Get Caught On Fire?
— You Lost To Slmebody When You Were Playing Hide And Seek, And The Place Where You Got Caught Was Exactly On A Patch Of Fire.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To prove he wasn't a chicken.
A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."
How did Stephen Hawking make it up the stairway to heaven?
Well, he didn’t; they invented an elevator.
Q: Where did Sally go on her bike? A: Nowhere.
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What are all grandmas infected with? Defiantly not a parasite!
Why do golfers always bring a spare pair of pants?
Because they always get a hole in one!
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!