Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To check out the chicks!
Teacher: What’s 2+2?
Jimmy: 2+2=feEesh
Teacher: Well, Jimmy I can see you're going places, not college, but places.
Yo mama so old, she was there when Moses was born.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
So, two cats, one English (named "One Two Three Cat") and one French (named "Un Deux Trois Cat"), are walking through a forest and come across a river. To have a little fun, they decide to have a race across the river.
One Two Three Cat swam across, and when he finished the race, he looked behind him. "Un Deux Trois Cat" was nowhere to be seen. So "One Two Three Cat" figured that "Un Deux Trois Cat" sank.
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.
There were 500 bricks on a plane. One fell off.
Little Sally was crossing a river full of crocodiles. How did she survive the river? She had a gun. When she got out of the river, she died. Why? Because a brick fell on her head.
Why did Little Sally get hurt while playing soccer?
Because she fell into a minefield.
Why did Little Sally drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She has no arms.
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.
I love stairs. They always bring me up.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Your mom is gay, just like your dad.
Your mum is so ugly that aliens don’t come here.
Do you like me? Joke... Well come on!
BOOMSHACKALATA!
Your life is the joke.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."