Worst Jokes Ever
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
How do you confuse Helen Keller? You rearrange the furniture and glue doorknobs to the walls.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.
I hate double standards.
Burn a body at a crematorium, you’re “being a respectful friend.” Do it at home and you’re “destroying evidence.”
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
My uncle got really badly burned the other day.
They don't fuck around at the crematorium.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
What do you get when you cross the Atlantic with the Titanic? About half way.
Me: What's yellow and can't swim?
My sister: What??
Me: A school bus filled with kids.
What is 50 Cent's least favorite store?
The dollar store.
What does Drake call his rake?
Da-Rake.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
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Why is 6 scared of 7?
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
Velcro, what a rip-off!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.