Worst Jokes Ever
What do dogs drink? Pupsi.
What soda do dogs drink? Pupsi.
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
The "W" in African stands for water.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
I could never forget my grandfather's last words. "Stop shaking the ladd-"
Uranus is a gassy planet.
My version of the Roses are Red Poem in MW3:
I thought Soap could trust you. And so did I too. So WHY IN BLOODY HELL DOES MAKAROV KNOW YOU?!
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I got some from suggestions, research, etc. etc. Just to illuminate you.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
What goes moo? Cow.
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My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
Today was a bad day. First, my ex got hit by a bus. Then I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why don't some people like pennies?
Because it's common cents.
What did the chef on the Titanic scream as he tried to finish the dishes? "Oh no, the sink sank!"
Q: What is a skeleton's favorite color?
A: Blue stop signs.
Man 1: You look like Scott Cawthon.
Man 2: I'm gonna put your dick in a Coffin!
Man 3: Me first!
Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.