Worst Jokes Ever

What did Michael Jackson find on his bedsheets?

Billie's Jeans... Hee hee!

What did Michael Jackson find on his bed?

Billie's Jeans.

Jimmy asks an elevator operator what he thinks of his job.

The operator shrugs and says, "It has its ups and downs!"

A man with a mullet walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "The party's in the back!"

Where did Sally go when she went in the minefield?

Everywhere.

Roses are red, violets are not, everyone at Grant High School is probably a thot.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

Josh Williams

I drove past Wendy’s the other day. No other stores were open, so I asked, “Wendy’s openin’ then?”

Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

I've always wondered how it would feel to put Hellen Keller in a room full of doorknobs... but no doors.

Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.

Three doctors go into a room to get rid of a dead guy's body. They notice when they walk over that he has a boner. The first doctor decides, "Why not fuck him? He still has a boner left in him." The second says, "Well, he's dead, and I am a virgin." The third one says, "I can't, I'm on my period," and then says, "Okay, why not? He's already dead. It's not like he doesn't smell bad." After all that, they go to walk out, and the guy pops up and says, "Thanks for saving my life, pumping blood back into my body..."

All dumbs aren't blonde.

Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.

I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."

If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!

Why do seagulls not fly over the bay?

Because if they did, they'd be bay gulls.

If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?