Worst Jokes Ever
I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.
What's a zig zag and made of wood?
Stephen's coffin.
What’s the difference between an egg and a wank?
You can beat an egg.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
What did the orphan say to his father?
Nothing, he doesn't have one.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his mother.
Why don't orphans do homework?
They don't have a home to do it in.
Why are orphans rude at school?
What's the school going to do? Call their parents?
"Igma is my balls."
They told me Avengers: Endgame was going to be 3 hours long, but honestly? I felt like it was over in a SNAP!
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
What's the king of all school supplies? A ruler.
What's a flower's favorite drink at the movie theater? Root Beer.
What's a cow's favorite place to go during his free time? The Moooovies.
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."
😂😂😂😂
A nun went to the pub and ordered a gin. The bartender said to her, "I thought nuns weren’t allowed to drink?" and she said, "Not usually, but I am doing the bishop a favor."
The bartender then asked if she was coming to the music evening, and she said, "No, I am with the bishop tonight."
Why couldn't the T-rex clap his hands?
Because he's dead.