Worst Jokes Ever

There were 5 cows on a farm, one mom and 4 calves.

The first calf goes up to the mom and says, "Momma, why is my name Rose?"

The mother cow replies, "Well sweetie, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."

The second calf walks up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?", to which the mom replies "Well honey, when you were born, a single lily petal fell on your head."

The third calf walks up, but before it can get a word out, the fourth calf screams at the top of its lungs. The mother cow yells, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

Why did the leper fail his driving test?

He left his foot on the clutch.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been sighted.

Kid 1: "Fortnite is good and Brawl Stars sucks!"

Me: Wow, I didn't know you were dyslexic.

I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell him to clap until his parents come home.

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, I will kill your family.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

I don’t know.

To get to the idiot house.

Knock, knock. Who's there?

The chicken.

I am right 95 percent of the time, who cares about that other 5 percent?

You you you like like like like my joke nooooooooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

When do you take a cow to the movies?

On a mooo-vie!

my mom is gay

Bob Ross fighting in Vietnam. "They're in the happy little trees, shoot the happy little trees and bushes!"

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

Let's taco about something.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I love to play catch with my dad! He's never there to catch the ball, though.

What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.