Worst Jokes Ever
Q: How many more chemo treatments did the cancer patient need?
A: Tumor.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
Why was going through JFK's head when he was getting assassinated? A bullet.
What hangs low?
Balls.
What goes in and out and saves your life but is not sexual?
Diabetes.
A child with cancer says, "Mother, what will I be when I grow up?"
Then the mother says, "Shut up, dick, you have cancer!" Hehehe.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
You: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Random person: Why?
You: To get to the idiot's house!
Random person: What?
You: Knock knock.
Random person: Who's there?
You: The chicken.
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!
I like my coffee the way I like jokes about my coffee, I don't.
Wow, I can't believe you'd take the time to read this!
Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance party? Because he had NOBODY to dance with.
A lawyer bought a beautiful yacht. He invited the law firm to come aboard for a great weekend.
Saturday night was the candle light dinner and Sam drank too much, walked on the deck and fell over the rail into the water and was calling for help. Tom said, "Oh no, the sharks will get him." All of the party lined along the rail and noticed the sharks were swimming around him in a circle. Jim said, "The sharks are not even bothering him!" And a shark lifted up his head out of the water and said, "Professional Courtesy."
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."