Worst Jokes Ever
I heard my neighbors having sex, and it was annoying me, so I called my girlfriend to ask if she wanted to go out, but when I called her, I heard my neighbors' phone ringing.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
A NASA scientist is sitting in a bar when a Martian walks in and orders a martini.
The NASA scientist quickly realizes he is dreaming and wakes up. He turns to his wife and tries to explain the dream, but she rolls over and ignores him because she is tired of listening to him.
The NASA scientist begins to sob because his marriage is in shambles. lmao.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
A Black man walked into a bar.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
Incest.
When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
Person: I broke my arm in three places.
Doctor: Well, don't go to those three places then.
Why do tables never need wheelchairs?
Because even without the ‘t’ they are still able.
What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"
You know this joke really cracks up my bones!
If you boil a funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock. That's humerus.
What did Love name his daughter?
Sweetheart. ♥
What do you call Stephen Hawking going fast?
Hot Wheels.
What do you call a cow in a moving van?
A: A mooving cow.
What instrument can a skeleton never play?
An organ.
What did the cow say to the farmer? Moo away!