Worst Jokes Ever
Oh Sans, you're such a bonehead! Sorry if that joke was jaw-breaking! LOL.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
What's the best thing about beating up orphans?
They can't tell their parents.
My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.
What's better than 5 babies in one dumpster?
1 baby in 5 dumpsters.
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
My undergrad was killer. It was murder in the first degree.
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
I'm running out of degrees? I guess I better throw myself in fire to raise my internal temperature (measured in degrees).
How many degreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees does Billy Corgan have?
1979.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
How does a well-educated graduate approach a delicate situation?
I don't know, how does a well-graduated education approach a what?
With a degree!
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
You know what they say: "Location, location, location." So my dad stuck a thermometer up his butt, and now he has degrees.
Did you hear about the volcano that was accepted into Cambridge?
It was a decision on the number of degrees it holds, which is a lot, because volcanoes have lava if they're active. And ours was.
It's a very smart day today. I'd say it has about 30-45 degrees, with humidex.
Do you want to know why I hired a protractor to tutor my nephew in IIROC? Because he has degrees. 180 of them. So he's smar[t].
If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.