Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.
Why did half the world go to hell? Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
YOU'VE BEEN WARNED (again)!
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!
Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.
I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.
"Where ya going?"
"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."
"kill yourself" "kill me yourself pussy"
People: Stop joking about such serious issues!
Me: Kill yourself.
My girlfriend asked me if we could have anal sex, and I said, "What's that?" She said, "I fuck her ass." I said, "Oh, my uncle calls that shhhhh."
Friend: *hits head* Others: How many fingers am I holding up? Me to friend: How suicidal am I on a scale from one to ten? Friend: Ten Me: He's fine guys.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
I like when people say they hate me because we have something in common. <3
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake.
So, a person walked into a shop.
Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."
This is REALLY funny.
Please upvote, comment, and like.
Thank you very much.
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
A car alarm went to the store.
Cashier: Hello.
Car Alarm: BMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMWAAAMAAHAMAMAMAMAAMHMMMMMMMMAMAMAMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAMMAMMMMMMMMMMM BBEEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BWAAAAMAAA!
Cashier: That will be 10 Dollars, sir.
