Worst Jokes Ever

Do atoms eat booty? No, because they are too cool. ;)

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

I lost my job making storage units for the police after a week. I guess you could say it was a brief case.

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

What is red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the “utter” side.

My name is Bob, and I am a cow.

My grandfather was a knight, and his name was Sir Loin.

So, a daughter goes to her dad and says, "Daddy, can I borrow the car?" He then tells her, "You know what to do." So then she proceeds to suck him off, almost immediately pulls out in disgust, and says, "Ugh, tastes like shit." Her dad then said, "Damn, I forgot your brother took the car."

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

Stephen Hawking died because he tried downloading a free version of Windows 10.

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

Go Kermit, toaster bath.

What the difference between cats and dogs? They dont have one both taste good

You watch 50 Shades of Grey, and you turn grey in bed.

Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

"Orla Doyle is fit."