Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
What do bananas wear into battle?
Banana-rama!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
What did the angler say to his students at the end of his fishing class?
Catch you later!
You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
Water?
What is the best part about eating cake? Your mom.
Mom: Go water the plants.
Me: But it’s raining outside.
Mom: Go grab the umbrella.
Me: What???
Stephen's not dead; his WiFi is slow.
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
On Xbox Live, an orphan can say "they f-ed your mom," so you can say, "at least mine didn't die from it."
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Did you hear that story "Three Lines in the Sand?" By dickadraggin'.
A man walks to the window and opens it and pulls out his phone and takes a photo. "One more picture and I'll jump." He takes another photo and shuts the window. "I can't jump, you're not supposed to throw trash out the window."
Déjà Vat: the feeling that you’ve heard that bad joke before.
What is killing your friend called?
A homie-side.