Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know Candice?
Candice dick fit in your mouth!
Why are french fries rude?
I was born on the moon.
Yeah, my mom was high, and my dad was down to earth.
If Iron Man and Quicksilver teamed up,
They would be alloys.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a frozen Band-Aid?
Cool-Aid!
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
(just a joke) My grandfather was involved in 9/11. I’ve kept his pilot medals for how good of a pilot he was.
If you have sex and your African parents find out,
“You can do the boom boom. But you can not do the boom boom in my house. Do it somewhere else."
Mushroom?
If you ever get mad at an orphan, punch them in the face... What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Do you wanna know why orphans don’t play baseball?
They don’t know what home is.
A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.
The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."
Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."
So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"
The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"
The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had no body to go with!
What does a cow sound like when in a horror house?
Moo mooo moooooooo (screaming)!
I keep getting ads about belly fat.