Worst Jokes Ever
No way, Jose!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
The other day I took my Grandma to one of those fish spas where the little fish eat your dead skin.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
My grief counselor died just the other day.
He was so good though, I didn't care.
What does the man say about his baby sister Lydia? "I hope she electrocutes herself!"
My sister asked where is my book.... me: "itti badi nak hai gufa jaisi dhund us mei."
I ran into a dwarf, and he said, “Well, I’m not happy.”
Me: Then which one are you?
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
See you later, crocodile.
In a while, pedophile.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
The two biggest dyslexic guy lies: "My check is in your mouth," and "I won't come in your mailbox."
Say what you want about pedophiles, but at least they don't shoot up schools.