Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire?
Hot wheels.
When a school shooter walks to the intercom and plays Pumped Up Kicks.
Video games don't make people violent, lag does.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
Snow everywhere, it's Christmas time. A person looks at the tree.
The person: "Only the last thing left to hang!"
He grabs a noose.
A 10-year-old: "I don't want to smile without having a reason to. People shouldn't think I'm happy 24/7."
A 10-year-old, a week later: "Damn... my life is shitty..."
<2 years later> 12-year-old: "What is de-pre-ssion?" *googles it*
Now 14-year-old: "Oh..."
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.
How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together!
What do you call fake noodles?
Impasta!
What do you call a Mexican that has lost his car?
Carlos!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Why couldn't the bike stand up by itself?
'Cause it was two tired!
Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
He was stuck in the crack.
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
What do bees do when they get married?
They go on a honeymoon.
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Why did 7 kill 11?
Because now 7 was even.
What’s the point in a cow going to the cinema? To be a-moo-sed!