Worst Jokes Ever
A dad asked his son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday, and he replied, "How about a urinal cake?!"
A man takes his dog out and steps in shit. He exclaims "WHAT THE DEUCE!"
Your momma's so depressed, she shot herself in the head hoping she'd die.
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Ryan.
Your nan.
Why did the vegetable go to jail?
He kaled a man and stole a 9-carat gold bar.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
I was taking a walk near the prison when I saw a good looking guy climbing down the fence, and when he noticed me, he gave me a sneer! It was pretty condescending.
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"
Kenny's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I gave him a thumb and forefinger job.
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
No way, Jose!
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
When my dad once went to the Virgin Islands, now it's just called the Islands.
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
My girlfriend's dog died, so to cheer her up I went out and got her an identical one.
She went mad, "What am I going to do with two dead dogs?"
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.