Worst Jokes Ever
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: Seeing others happy.
Doctor: Ok, so what makes you happy?
Me: Seeing stupid people in misery or agony.
Doctor: Well, that's rather sadistic.
Me: Well, statistically one in two doctors have fingered a child...
Doctor: Do you want your prescription or shall I book you an endoscopy?
Me: There's nothing hidden inside me, I'm empty "smug face".
Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?
Bc they're good at it.
They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love.
I had to pay a hooker for twelve hours work.
... I felt nothing, but it was nice, being with someone who felt the same.
What do you call an alligator with a magnifying glass?
An Investigator.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
Why did the bat cross the road? Because to get to the blood bar.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
(l=====8
How did the necrophiliac get caught?
Some rotten cunt split on him....
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
A dyslexic walks into a bra.
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
What did scientists prove when they saw a skeleton on the moon?
The cow didn’t make it.
This page could use more "butt quack" jokes.
All of us.
"Can you tie a knot?"
"I cannot."
"So you can knot?"
"No, I cannot knot."
"Not knot?"
"Who's there?"
"F... off!"
Would you like a piece of Africa?
Would you like to know why? Because it's a dessert/desert.
Sex dolls are alive in the Toy Story universe.
symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?
symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?
angela: Because you are the thot of the group.
symple: Well it takes one to know one.
symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"
angela: FUCK OFF!
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.