Fun fact! If you steal your sister's cat, she will be mad.
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
Why did the elephant cross the road? It didn't see the cars.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Where is Rex the dinosaur? In the ground.
Why can't a little girl fly? She doesn't have the proper motivation.
What do a moose and a triceratops have in common?
Both have noses.
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
If the shoe doesn't fit, there's no evidence.
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA, the other is USB. 😂😂😂
What's the difference between America and a flash drive?
One is USA and the other is USB! 😂😂😂
What does your mum and Istanbul have in common?
They are all insane comebacks!!!
Money means nothing to me. Ask me for it, you will get nothing.
Alzheimer's protesters march chanting. "What do we want? Better treatment... When do we want it? ...Want what?"
I asked my sister to get me a cup of fruit punch. I realized she was taking a bit so I walk to the kitchen and noticed that she spilled it on herself. I asked her, "How did you do that?" but there was no response.
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven was a registered six offender.
Stephen Hawking's death was completely accidental.
He pressed "shut down" instead of "sleep".
