What's the difference between acne and a priest?
Acne waits until you're a teen to cum on your face.
I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?
I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.
The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.
Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.
That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.
Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.
Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.
But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.
I tried my best to think of some puns, but I'm gonna have tibia honest: I don't have any puns left, but I'm pretty sternum, so I'll think of a few puns here and there. It took a lot of spine to do this.
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Why couldn’t the dwarf husband make his wife pregnant?
Because of his short cummings.
What’s red and bad for your dental health? A brick.
What’s invisible and bad for you to breathe? Mustard gas.
What’s green and bad for you to drink? Radioactive waste.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought Voldemort was ugly, but then I met you.
Why was the depressed man happy in food-tech?
He got to cut himself.
Why did the man say chickens were lucky?
Because they get killed and eaten.
What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Control freak.
Con...
Ok, now you say, "Control freak who?"
Why do people always tell actors to break a leg?
Because every play has a cast.
How do you get ten babies in a bucket?
With a blender.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last long if you're fat.
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Are you a wild girl, cause I want to catch you with my pokeballs?
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."
