Worst Jokes Ever
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
I wish the grass in my back lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't hit a home run.
What do you call a modern-day plague doctor? A COVID doctor.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers? A redneck virgin.
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Simple... you staple its mouth shut.
Today, I learned that a group of piranhas can maul a small child down to the bone in under 20 seconds. Well, I lost my job at the aquarium today.
I pushed a disabled kid in a fire, then called him "hot wheels."
Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.
Dark humor is like COVID-19... Not everyone gets it.
Me: Now I know why Michael Jackson turned white.
The police: You finally figured it out.
My wife left me yesterday.
I haven't talked to the kids in a year.
Your reflection.
You know, life as a pufferfish is tough. They get startled, then they get hard.
What is long, brown, and cures depression?
A noose.
What's the difference between a mole and a priest?
One will till your 13 to put hairs on your face.
Me: punching a kid.
My FBI agent: You're adopted.
You really can't call Stalin bad. Just think about the people that wanted to die.
You really can't call Stalin bad, just think about the kids that depression.