What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
If you drop an emo and a piece of paper from a tree, which will hit the ground first?
The piece of paper because the rope will stop the emo.
Why can’t orphans play baseball cause they can’t find home
Why did the dog join the marching band?
Because he had his trum-bone.
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
How do you make a plumber cry?
Break his pipes...
Jerry: My dad got into a fight on a plane.
Jeremy: That's just *plane* crazy!
What movie do orphans hate most? Way home
i will tell you a joke-your life
Why can’t orphans be a space ship? Because they don’t have a mothership!
When Trump goes to the beach, he doesn't use suntan lotion. He uses Dorito dust, and it stays on for the rest of his life.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
I always win arguments against my handicapped girlfriend; she can't stand for herself.
Earlier that day...
Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.
Mission on space.
Mars: Moon? You okay?
Moon:...
Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!
*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they don’t know where home is.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!
