Worst Jokes Ever
How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Well, it's not 53, 'cause my basement's still dark.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't go home.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.
The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”
A drunk guy runs into a bar... He bangs his head and falls down, why?
Because he is in a prison cell.
Pee.
My wife left me and took the kids.
Fennec users lmao.
I like pie.
I think my penis has facial recognition.
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Why do fat cows eat fat cows? Because I wrote this in America.
How do you punish a blind man?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
Me playing a game........ What, did God just stop our hearts because he didn't kill everybody?
Me playing a game...
What did God just stop? Are hearts cause we didn't kill each other.
Like if that was good.
What do you call a whore with a runny nose?
...Full!
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
A kid gets home from school and finds his mom and dad having sex. The kid asks, "What are you doing, Dad?" The dad replies, "Having sex with your mom, son," and he starts laughing.
The next day, Dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan. The dad shouts, "What the hell are you doing, son?" The kid replies, "It's not funny when it's your mom, is it?"
How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?
It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.
Going to church, you don't think you are Christian.
Sleeping with ten men, you don't think you are straight.