Worst Jokes Ever
I went to a museum and saw clocks. The owner told me these were lying clocks.
"This is God's clock. It never moved because he never lied."
"This is your clock. It moved 3 times because you lied 3 times."
I asked where is President Trump's clock. He said it was at the equator, spinning super fast for those who were on fire. I laughed so hard because it was so true!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock?
Who's there?
The chicken!
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
What did a fat cow give you?
Homework.
Why did the lady go to the dealership? Because she was going to get Hereford.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
Who eats sleeping? A robot.
How do you blow up an Indian? Press the red dot in the middle of their forehead!
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He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
Why was Stephen Hawking a bad influence towards kids? Because he couldnāt stand for anything.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A hooker can wash her crack, then sell it again.
Why couldnāt the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
What's worse than ten babies on one tree? One baby on ten trees.
What is the postman's favorite fruit?
Water-mail-on.
What do you call a Mexican rooster?
Un gallo pelĆ³n.
How do you fit 4 gay dudes on a stool?
Flip it upside down.