Worst Jokes Ever

Guys, my girlfriend calls me: "911, help! There’s a strange man in my room and I think he’s on drugs!"

She’s so nice.

Why do most orphans become prostitutes?...

'Cause they need to find someone to call DADDY.

What flour do you give an orphan?

Self-raising.

Not everyone is perfect. Just take Charles Manson, for example.

I have tried coke; it is not my cup of tea.

What’s an orphan's favorite food?

: Not home food.

How do you get 500 drunk TTC people out? "Ah, on fire, a warning shot." "Uhhh sir, it's a M92 mortar." "Ah, just fire the shot!" Please get out before you get triggered from the pool and you have no clothes showing your nono parts. Oh wait, please get out of the pool drunk people. Potato, potatoes, fire ze shot.

How to get 60 Translink workers? Please head out of the pool because ya'll are fat. Oh wait, didn't you poop yourself? Say sorry to your underwear while pooping as a fat Canadian Translink worker, little boy.

Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face, and he asks her, "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face, mother?"

His mother replies, "To make myself beautiful, Johnny."

A few minutes later, she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. Johnny says to her, "What is the matter? Are you giving up?"

Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.

Hi, you guys don't know me, but I have my best interests at heart.

I'm a kind person who wants to put a stop to the bullying. I think that Gwen, Addison Banks, Watersharky, ect. are kind people! Also, I kinda like Watersharky...

Hi! I would like to befriend all the nice people on this website! (Watersharky, Gwen, Addison Banks, etc.)

What's an orphan's favorite battle zone? The home front.

What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? He said it tasted a little funny.

What's the difference between my dad and cancer?

Cancer doesn't leave.

Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.

Me: Calls 9-1-1.

Operator: 9/11, what’s your emergency?

Me: *hangs up*

I (DYM 117)

Suck your mum's bum.

Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.