Worst Jokes Ever

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Myla, what did you do for Father's Day?

Myla: I went to a restaurant.

Timmy, what did you do for Father's Day?

Timmy: I went to a concert.

Olivia, what did you do for Father's Day?

Olivia: Talked to him through an ouija board.

I'm gay because I like men.

Why is an orphan gay? Because they can call somebody "daddy."

What do Mexicans cut their pizza with? A Little Caesars.

I hate when people make jokes about the Twin Towers.

My dad died on 9/11. He was a great pilot.

What is Armin Meiwes' ideal date? Dinner.

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

Attention to everyone - I will be leaving for 3 weeks for a summer break. I will be back in 3 weeks. When I come back, I want someone to tell me everything that has happened over these weeks. (Gwen or Addison Banks).

Sincerely, watersharky.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Oliver.

Oliver who?

Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹

Son: Dad, what are those two huge balloons on mommy's chest?

Dad: I don't see balloons, but I see boobs. I mean, yes, balloons.

Son: Are you sure they're balloons? Yesterday I heard Uncle Frank trying to get a milk dispenser working.

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

What begins in F and ends in UCK?

Fire truck.

What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.

minutes (DYM 124)

I saw an orphan and asked them if they had parent permission.

I go to Venice to get a bigger penis.

I go to Venus to get a bigger penis.

Why did the FBI get a foster family for an orphan?

So he could be in a lovely family before death.

Me: I got kicked out of the library the other day.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because I put the women rights book in the fiction section.