Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call California when it’s having a wildfire? Completely normal.
Why can't orphans play rounders?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why is the queen in chess the most powerful piece? Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
Guys, we should stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents will get mad. Oh.... Wait... Continue.
My brother caught Covid last month.
First I knew about it was when he speed-dialled me at 3am and gasped, "I can't breathe, I can't breathe!"
I just told him straight: "Bro... you really need to work on your George Floyd jokes."
I was wearing a George Floyd t-shirt, and a person said to me: "That must be a bit tight round the neck."
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
My day started out great until I woke up.
What do you call your mom?
Basement bound.
Guess what?
What?
Chicken butt!
I made this one up myself just now.
Stephen Hawking would be a good pilot because the aircraft would be the first to take off and land in autopilot.
Have you ever walked into Helen Keller’s house?
She has.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Two brothers play on the street. One of them finds a condom on the ground. Not knowing what it is, they go to their mum and ask what it is that they found. Mum gets mad and yells to throw that away immediately.
Guys go back to the yard, surprised why their mum got mad for just latex. One of them says: "Why did mum get so angry?" The other: "I have no idea, thankfully we did not tell her that we've eaten the yogurt inside!"
Why do orphans love Dom Toretto?
Because "family is everything!"
My girlfriend calling me: I'm home alone ;)
Me: I know, you always are...