Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Me: *Calls friend* "Dude, I just fell off a 50-foot ladder!"

Friend: "Bro, you ok?!"

Me: "Yeah, lucky I only fell off the first step!"

A woman goes to buy a parrot.

There is one for 200, 500, and one for 15 bucks.

She asks why the last one is so cheap.

The man at the counter says, "It used to live in a brothel/sex house."

The lady buys it anyway.

When she gets home, it says, "Fuck me, a new brothel!"

When her daughters get home, it says, "Fuck me, 2 new prozzies!"

When the father gets home, the parrot says, "Fuck me, Daryl, haven't seen you in the brothel in weeks!"

Me: I named my dog Five Miles so I can tell people I walk five miles every day.

Old man: I ran over five miles today.

What does a baby and a grenade have in common?

They both make a noise when you throw them.

Hi, I have a question for you.

Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?

Yeah, sorry xD

When you go over a speed bump, but you remember that there are no speed bumps in the school zone.