Worst Jokes Ever

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

"You're the bomb."

"No, you're the bomb."

A compliment in the US, an argument in the Middle East.

I thought opening a door for a lady was good manners, but she just screamed and flew out of the plane.

Today, me and my best friend went to the Grand Canyon. He was taking up all the space by the edge, and I told him to back up. R.I.P. to him.

Why are astronauts forgetful?

They're always spacing out.

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Alabama gene pools are so shallow, when they freeze over, it's just snow.

Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.

"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.

"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"

My mom said I need Jesus in my life, so I drunk up the holy water ;}

What are Michael Jackson's pronouns?

He, he.

My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.

Your Mom is so friking fat, that when she ripped her pants and went to the seamster, they said, "We don't sew curtains!"

Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.

I support men.

There are women's support groups, but where are men's support groups?

Why did the chicken cross the road to Popeyes Chicken?

It wanted to pop some chicken eyes...

The department of touch yourself is coming to the UK near you. I hope Scotland gets freedom. I can't wait to leave England and live in Scotland.

What will make a depressed teenager happy?

A cliff.

We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.