Worst Jokes Ever
Sometimes I think back on all the people I’ve lost and remember why I stopped being a tour guide.
Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I’ll never forget my father’s last words to me just before he died: “Are you sure you fixed the brakes?”
What’s black and white and red all over?
A crushed nun!
What’s that black stuff between an elephants toes?
Slow natives.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.
How does a rapper like his eggs?
Hard-boiled, to match his beats!
Why did the rapper become a locksmith?
Because he always had the KEYS!
What do you call a rapper who loves gardening?
Dr. Dre-seed.
Why did the rapper join a gym?
To get those SICK BARS.
Why don't rappers tell secrets?
Because they always spill the beats.
Why did the rapper always carry a pencil?
In case he had to draw a crowd.
Why don't rappers ever get lost?
Because they always know where the BEAT is.
What do you call a rich Asian?
A cha-ching.
What did the booty say when it was asked to help?
"I've got your backside covered!"
How does a booty stay in shape?
It works its glutes off!
Why was the booty so good at math?
It knew all the ANGLES.
How do butts communicate?
By using CRACK-BERRIES!
Why couldn’t the booty stay calm?
Because it was on crack.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Why did the booty go to the party?
It heard it was a "bash."
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
I remember my first day back when working at a camp. I was so surprised when the trains arrived.