For a golfer, Tiger Woods isn't very good of a driver.
You can find perfectly cooked Kobe in a Japanese restaurant, but you can only find burnt Kobe in Calabasas.
Got fired from the bank yesterday.
They caught me drinking on the job.
Yo mama so clumsy, she gave birth to you.
Why did the rapper bring a dictionary to the concert?
So he could DEFINE his own beats!
Why did the rapper become a barber?
To trim his verses.
Why did the rapper become a mathematician?
To count his STACKS of CASH.
What did the rapper say to the traffic jam?
"Move over, I'm about to drop some FIRE!"
Why did the rapper become a carpenter?
To NAIL his performances!
Why did the rapper bring a parachute to the concert?
In case his lyrics made the crowd jump!
Why did the rapper become an astronaut?
To drop some BARS in SPACE!
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
How do rappers stay cool in the summer?
They drop ICE COLD rhymes.
Why did the rapper bring a ladder to the studio?
Because he heard the "mic drop" was too high!
Why did the rapper bring a suitcase to the studio?
Because he was packing his rhyme books!
How do rappers stay organized?
They keep their rap sheets in order.
Why did the rapper become an electrician?
Because he wanted to SHOCK the audience with his RHYMES.
Why was the rapper always calm?
Because he had FLOW-ZEN.
What's a rapper's favorite insect?
Rhy-mosquito.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.