How does a depressed couple say goodbye on the phone?
"No, you hang yourself first..."
My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."
Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?
Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."
What do you do when you are angry with an orphan hit them
It's not like they can tell their parents
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
One time I killed Sam, Stan, and Gran on Roblox, and she was really mad.
What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.
What’s the difference between an orphan and an apple tray?
The apples get picked
Your hairline is so far back that my father couldn't even reach the store in time before it grew!
"Chairing is caring, folks!"
Batman: I’m vengeance.
Dad: Hi Vengeance, I’m dad.
Batman: ...
Dad: Son, it’s been 20 years, please let go.
A man walks into a doctor's office, naked and wrapped in Glad Wrap.
The doctor replies with: "I can clearly see your nuts."
A man is on his deathbed in prison by electric chair.
The man who controls the chair asks for any last words.
The prisoner replies with: “Can you hold my hand?”
Why is the orphan cold?
'Cause there's no one to cuddle with.
What is the difference between a orphan and a apple tree.
Apples get picked
You're so fat that when you go on a walk with your friends, it looks like they are orbiting you.
What do you call it when you see nothing but pants? Brief psychotic disorder!
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
What do you call a gay kid on fire
What's the difference between orphans and apple trees
The apples actually get picked
