Worst Jokes Ever

Everyone at the Queen's funeral:

Me and the boys getting her reboot card.

Why was the emo jealous of the orange?

It came precut.

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

I'm sorry my jokes are so bad.

I called the suicide hotline in Afghanistan, and they asked if I could pilot a plane.

9/11 was probably just a woman pilot.

A priest sees a man about to commit suicide. The man says, "I have nothing to live for here. I will die, go to Heaven, and get 72 virgins." Then the priest says, "No need for this. I will take you to the local elementary school."

I was about to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was too plane.

They made a movie about 9/11.

It was a big hit.

I was digging in my backyard and I found gold, and I went to run and tell my mom, but I realized why I was digging in the backyard.

Say this to your significant other (or your weird friends!)

Are you an unsafe staircase? 'Cause you look like you could use a railing.

A friend of mine says "Baguette" all the time cuz she is French.

I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"

I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3

Why did the chicken say to the football guy, "You quarter?"

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

Finish the lyrics: Can I put my...

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

They ordered burgers, but what they got was plane.

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

How did 10 die?

Because it was in between 9 and 11.