I think my dad's gay because he goes out with his mates to get milk but never returns.
Sydney has a fat pair of spammy flaps that smell of fish 🎣.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay.
I go out with enyaw, now she is just gay now.
My friend Enyaw is gay, she is a cunt.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
The only difference between my grandma and the twin towers is that they collapsed faster than my grandma.
The Twin Towers collapsed faster than my grandma did.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and shivers?
A nervous wreck.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
Fat teachers be like: "I hope you're paying a ten chin."
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Why did the rooster cross the road?
To Cock-A-Doodle Die. Now you have a rooster pancake. My favorite. ^^
Why do orphans love boomerangs?
Because they always return.
Did you hear about the bad joke? No? It hasn't been made up yet. HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why did the chicken cross the road? To cock-a-doodle die...
SOOOO my sister said her first bad word yesterday. "Shit." My mum was like, "What did you just say, child?"
Sister: "I said the cat shits inside like the dog shi- uh oh......"
Now I've avoided this stuff by making my own word: Sugarplum. Sugarplum = shit...
My sister made some pie, and it tasted horribly... so I said this.... "This pie is very sugarplum-y." She said, "What do you mean by that?" I said, "It tastes like sugarplums..."
What do you call a picture of an orphan? A selfie.
What do you call a picture of an orphan?
A family photo.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.
