Never jokes
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can never hit a homerun.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Stevie Wonder is a terrible father.
He never sees his kids.
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
Q: I'm a famous athlete and I've got a lot of fans.
A: Is that why I never see you sweat?
Why should old women never eat seafood?
'Cause then she'll start acting crabby.
Why should you never tell your French doctor that you bite your tongue?
Because your French doctor will give you a tetanus shot.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why do Blondes never suffer from headaches?
No brain, no pain.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Never trust stairs, they're always up to something.
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
By the way, why are there no knock knock jokes about America?
Because freedom rings, but they never answer that door.
Enjoy!
I never knew what my dad's job was.
One day, at school, I got a scam phone call, later, I got another, and another. I finally had enough and answered the phone, but to make an impact I said "Hello?"
My dad answered...
What two things can you never have for breakfast?
Lunch and dinner!