Never jokes
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
People say my dad left me and was never successful, but if you search up who destroyed the Twin Towers, he will pop up.
Also, my mom's great grandpa killed Hitler.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
I saw a news ad on TV about a dad coming home after getting milk. I said, "I've never seen that one before!"
Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.
They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...
Chalie has an eating disorder, and he is shorter, so is his life, but he will never get a wife. He's a gay motherfucker who wants to be hit by a trucker?
Why do orphans have water with their cereal?
Because the dad never came back with the milk.
Why was Stephen Hawking never trusted when taking a quiz?
"No computers allowed on the test!"
Could never understand why people would say Stephen Hawking is a dead man walking.
What happens to emo kids when they go up?
They never come down.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.
Guys, we need to stop telling orphan jokes, they're gonna tell their parents. Oh wait, never mind, continue.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.