Never jokes
What goes up but never past the digits 15?
A Make-A-Wish kid...
So, I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies. I stole one, not noticing my mom was behind me.
So my mom said, "Put the cookie back, kid!" and I said I wasn't gonna eat it. Then she said, "Never mind, I'll get your father." So my mom said, "Honey, deal with your son; I'm going to the mall!" And my dad said, "Son, if you're not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!"
So he went into his room, and I heard the belt, and I was going to run, but I knew it would be worse. So he said, "This will be your punishment." As he was getting ready to hit me, I said, "Daddy, no, please, I wasn't gonna eat it!" But he said, "No, you won't change my mind, little boy!" Then he hit me. Thank you for reading! Stay healthy and stay safe in this time. Bye!!! Read more of my jokes; they'll probably be around the website!!
I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
What vegetable is good for your memory? A carrot, because the last time I had one shoved up my ass, I never forgot about it.
"Love is a good thing, never be embarrassed by it."
- The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.
- How did the gay person die? Homicide.
- Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.
- When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.
- I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.
- I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.
- How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.
Did you hear about the needle and thread shop?
Never mind, it was needle-ess.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
Why do orphans never get 5 stars in GTA 5? Because they are not wanted!
Orphan: I want to be a relator.
Teacher: Why?
Orphan: Because I never had one in my childhood.
My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2.
He never talks about it.
Why do pedophiles never win a race? Because they are always coming in a little behind.
I beat up a blind kid, but he says he's the strongest. He never saw that one!
Why are orphans not boomerangs? Because they never come back.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.