Never jokes
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Bill Cosby.
Bill Cosby who?
Never mind, I’ll come back when you’re sleeping.
A lion would never drive while drunk.
But a tiger wood.
How come you never see a broke midget?
Because he’s living in the broke man’s boots.
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind... It's too cheesy.
Kid 1: I like you! Do you like me?
Kid 2: No. You never asked if I love you!
Kid 1: Aw, do you love me?
Kid 2: No!
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Bastards can never pray, because they don't have a Holy Father.
You know what's crazy? Is that the low taper fade, like, meme, is still MASSIVE. Still MASSIVE. Like, I'm still seeing like, new ones, that I've never seen before, and they're getting millions of likes and millions of views.
Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...
Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.
You know what they say about 9/11 jokes?
The second one never lands as good as the first one.
Why do orphans never wake up in the morning? Their dad can’t wake them up.
Never challenge death to a pillow fight.
Unless you're prepared for the reapercushions.
Kid: Aye, Mum, I'mma do something Dad could never do.
Mum: And that is?
*Kid walks out.*
*Kid comes back in with milk.*
Mum: I'mma beat ya ass!
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Why do orphans hate playing sports in school?
Because they never get picked.
This guy came into my library a year ago and borrowed a book named "How to Commit Suicide." He never returned it.
Your hairline and my car go Lighting McQueen speed because he never came back with the milk.