Never jokes
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."
What goes up but never comes down?
Water in Australia.
What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?
If you throw them, they both will never come back.
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
Wanna hear a joke about measurement... never mind, it would take too long.
Want to hear a joke about a guy losing fingers?
Never mind, it’s too pointless.
Why do pedophiles never cum first?
Because they like to cum in a little behind.
You know how many people said, "This ship will never sink?"
They jinxed it by saying "never sink."
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.
You wanna hear a joke?
Two Emos hanging out under a tree.
How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!
Never joke about 9/11, they'll just crash and burn.
Why do elephants never get rich?
Because they work for peanuts!
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.
What does NASA say when they don’t want to go in space: Never Access Space Again.
Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.
Stormtroopers, I guess they never miss, huh?
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.
The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.