Need Jokes

Roses are red, I am very cool, You, on the other hand, Need to drown yourself in a pool.

One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"

The other said, "Do you have that many?"

The village people said that they need their idiot back; you better get going!

My sister said, "LET'S GO TO PIZZA!" So, I went to the pizza shop with her and she replied, "We really only needed the car?"

A lady comes into the boys' bathroom and a boy sees her.

"This is not a girls' bathroom," he says.

She answers, "I don’t care," she says, "I NEED TO PEE!"

i took a quiz. it was so inaccurate.

The image has white text on a black background that says: "We believe you are already happy with your life and you don't need any change. Your future will be the same as it is right now."

Your momma is so fat, she doesn't need Wi-Fi, she is already worldwide!

Yo mama is so fat we need to use yo papa!

Stranger: Do you need hair regrowth products?

Kid: No, my hairline is just far back.

Stranger: Do you need a doctor?

What did the rapper say at the bakery?

"I need ALL the dough you got!"

I really need jokes for my Atom bookmark project :3

Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.

Why did the computer go to bed?

It needed to crash.

Dad/Mom: Son, you're adopted.

Son: I know. *holds up daddy's phone that has the text of them talking about it.*

Dad: Babe, we need to talk.

Mom: Okay......

Dad: He's grounded.

Mom: You're right, you're grounded! Oh, and I'm dumping you.

Son: Am I getting a new daddy?

Mom: Soon honey, soon....

Dad: I really shouldn't have let her know I cheating.

This guy went to the gas station to get some gas, and as he asked the cashier for gas he noticed a terrible smell. He asked what the smell was and the cashier replied, "That's your gas, cuz I farted. Now hand me the 20 bucks!"

The guy said, "No, not the kind that comes from your ass, but the kind you put in a car!" The cashier says, "That fart was worth 20 bucks, so beat it!"

Guy says, "I need real gas, nothing about your ass impresses me!" Then another guy gets in line and says, "I know the guy personally, we grew up together. Always trying to be the cool kid in school, bragging about his big horse's ass...no wonder he was always the *butt* of all jokes!"

Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?

In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.

Clarie: I don't even care if it was a joke he made on me, you and Karlen, and if you think I'm getting over it, then you must have an oatmeal for a brain.

Jordan: Clarie ... you are so sensitive when she tells a little joke about you, me, and Karlen.

Clarie: It was painful!

Jordan: Who cares? I laughed. Ben is not a bad person, okay, calm down.

Clarie: Ben is a bad person. We are making friends with a bully/thug, but you say that he is not a "bad person", my mom is going to kill me if she finds out that I am hanging out with those kinds of people!

Jordan: Then don't tell her! Listen, I need you, give Ben a chance! Please?

Clarie: Shush, Karlen is coming!

Karlen: Hey guys, that Ben guy for sure has a way of saying words, I wish I could hurt him!!

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

Some of you people on here are complete incels and need to learn how to spell and properly construct simplistic grammatical sentences that actually make sense.