Need

Need jokes

Job

Neona (๐Ÿ˜Ÿ): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜Œ): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (๐Ÿ˜”): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜ ): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (๐Ÿ˜ž): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (๐Ÿ˜‰): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (๐Ÿ˜Š): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

Time

Hi!!!! So it has been a very long time, and I have seen that your jokes have been becoming more and more inappropriate.

Guys, you don't need to be inappropriate to be cool! You are awesome if you like school, and even if you are gay, or anything in the LGBTQ+ category. #PRIDE

Anyway, I myself am not LGBTQ+, but I don't think people who are should get shamed for it. I love you guys, and stay positive!!!

Pedophile

All Mia needs to destroy the evil young girl in Resident Evil 7 Biohazard, was using a pedophile instead of serum.

People

What's the difference between Black and White people?

Blacks don't need N-Word Passes.

Memes

Sense

You see this guy's sense, bahh? If it was a cartoon, it would be an avatar. Cause why?

Anytime he needs it most, it vanishes. ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ’”

Weight

You're so fat that when you got on the scales, they said, "I need your weight, not your phone number!"

Entity

"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"

"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."

"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."

Orphan

Whatโ€™s the difference between an orphan and a donut?

People want donuts.

Day

Earlier that day...

Mars: Okay Venus, you need to stop with the puns.

Mission on space.

Mars: Moon? You okay?

Moon:...

Mars: Moon come on! Stop spacing out!

*Venus and Moon giving her the smirk*

Stuff

Me: What do we need from there? I have a few things to do before I head out to the store, and then I will be home to pick up the stuff.

Random person: What stuff? ๐Ÿคจ

Me: What?

The person: You said youโ€™re going to pick up โ€œthe stuffโ€!!! What do you mean by that?!

Me: Colourful flamingo fart.

Kid

One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.

Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"

Bar

Why did the man walk into a bar?

Because he just broke up and he needs alcohol, you dummy!

Pizza

A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.

I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...

Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?

Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.

Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!

Me: You can't kick me out.

Manager: Why not? Huh?

Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.

World

HEY! You guys need to S T O P making Stephen Hawking jokes. He has done so much for the theoretical physics world, and THIS is how you choose to repay him? All 653 of you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Lumberjack

I despise lumberjacks. They are always barking up the wrong tree, all bark and no bite.

They just need to leaf people alone or stick with something nicer.

Orphan

Why canโ€™t an orphan take medicine?

They need parental supervision.