It's best not to say "Hail Satan" because he can't control the weather!
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Medusa makes men hard.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
What type of alphabet does an elf learn?
The elf-abet.
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
your hairline goes back so far it dated zeus
