Mythology jokes
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
TITANic
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
Your hairline goes back so far, it dated Zeus.
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
I am Thor.
And next year, I will be five.
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.