Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
Gnome.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Your hairline's so ugly, it turned Medusa to stone!
Adam and Eve are wondering whether they are black or white. Eve says, "Why don't you go and ask God?"
So Adam goes into the Garden of Eden and shouts out to God, "Are we black or white?" A big booming voice bellows out, "You are what you are."
He immediately goes back to Eve and tells her that they are white. "How do you know?" asks Eve. "Because he said, 'You are what you are,'" Adam replied. "Why does that mean we are white?" asked Eve. "Because if we were black, He would have said, 'You is what you is.'"
All these sea monster jokes are just kraken me up.
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
Belief in Egyptian gods is just Ra-ng (wrong). 😁
I know how unicorns make babies. The dad puts his horn in the girl's butt hole.
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
I made a deal with Satan. I would get a free pass to hell if I serve as a demon lord. So, see you guys at the end of times!
Lucifer's so broke he can't even afford air conditioning units.
What’s the difference between Santa and my dad?
Santa got the milk.
What is Jack Frost's favorite mode of transport?
A Tri-cycle.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
