My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
Your mama is so fat, she sunk Atlantis even though it's in the ocean!
Always breathing down my neck, my vampire girlfriend does not give me any space.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
