Mythology jokes
Why does Peter Pan always fly?
'Cause he Neverlands.
If you eat her out on her period, does that make you Cunt Dracula?
Your mama is so fat when Santa went down the chimney he said, "Ho, ho, ho, holy shit, you're fatter than me, bitch!"
The Demon when it gets summoned to earth only to find out it was a spelling mistake in Latin class. 😬
What should I sell my dragon for?
Dragon these balls across yo face!
A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.
The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.
Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.
Why do people think Jesus is going to come back? He wasn’t nailed to a fucking boomerang!
The Egyptian god of sun's name is Ka.
My friend: Where does the sun god go to get a shoe?
Me: In a Ka-boot sale :D
Friend: What would happen when someone stole the shoe?
Me: Call The Police Ka!!!
Your mom is so ugly that even Medusa turned to stone from looking at her!
God is fake.
Whoever invented religions, they fucked up.
We got all kinds of retarded adults believing in mythologies.
People were scared of the alligator because it ate everyone, so they called for the water god Aquarius.
He said "Sea ya later, alligator!" and he drowned.
My sister told me she liked Medusa.
I said, "Huh?"
My sister said my blow jobs are so good she looks up at the guy's facial expression, and when they look down, they do nothing but stay still.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we dragons?
Shut up and don’t breathe on the drapes.
Mommy, Mommy! Are we vampires?
Shut up and drink your soup before it clots!
Yo hairline so bad when people see it, they turn to stone.
You may have a footlong, but I have a SHENLONG. :)
I mess up goats for unicorns?
Jimmy the Unicorn or goat.
I don't even know.
Your mom is so fat Santa Claus came down and said, "Ho ho holy shit!"
Hey, don’t Orpheus have friends because people do have family?