Medusa makes men hard.
What did the lesbian vampire say to the heterosexual woman after she was done licking her pussy after she was done having her blood period?
"I will be back next month."
Why are cats good at video games?
Because they have nine lives!
How do you know Thor has your back?
He's an Asgardian (ass guardian).
What do mermaids wash their fins with?
Tide.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Why do elves go to school?
To learn the elf-abet.
My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.
Teacher: *Reads mythological story about a cyclops
Me: Does he have one eye cause he's from an incestual family in Alabama?
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?
Haaaaaaay!
Why doesn't the witch wear panties?
To get a better grip on her broom stick!
What is at the end of a rainbow
The w
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
What did the suicidal leprechaun say?
"Irish I was dead."
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
[God creating sharks]
God: Ok give them 3 rows of teeth.
Angel: Seems excessive but ok.
God: And make them mean as hell.
Angel: WTF y.
God: BECAUSSE I SAID SO.
Angel:...
God: And make one of the types have a hammer for a head.
Angel: Why do I still work for you?
God: Because I’m the only employer as of right now.
What do you call an elf that sings? A Wrapper.
