Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Mythology Jokes
Yo mama so ugly, when Santa saw her, he said, "Ho, ho, hole shit!"
Why do dwarfs love penis? It tickles their insides.
A magic genie tells Tom, "I can make anything of yours disappear!"
Tom raises his mug and says, "Okay, get rid of my tea."
Genie: Poof!
Tom: It didn't work.
A boy named Jimmy was riding to Hell to save his brothers and sister. That is the last place he pissed. There came across the Devil.
Part 1
What did the headless horseman say to the woman?
"Give me head."
Why is no one friends with Dracula? Because he's a pain in the neck.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Where do mermaids get a job?
At the kelp wanted station.
What is Satan's way to go to places? A helicopter.
Why Satan didn't stop sending messages to God about hell?
'Cause they made a juice out of him.
Did you fall from Heaven? Because so did Satan.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
An LDS preacher knocks on the door with a chalice of wine offering to do the sacrament.
The person living there points and says, "Begone, foul blood-drinker!"
And promptly the preacher bursts into flames, leaving nothing but ash.
My friend told me that he saw a yacht went close in to the yeti's eye, so I said to my friend, "Did the yeti kiss?" But my friend said, "No, the yeti have to play games every single day, or the yeti will die."
Why are Egyptian gods orphans?
Because Egypt needs to sell Anubis (a new bus) every year to make a prophet.
Yo mama is so fat she turned the mermaids to fishes.
Why don't witches wear underwear?
So they can get a better grip on their broom.
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂
What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
