My jokes

Orphanage

    • My son came up to me and said, "Mom, where are your parents?"

    I stared in confusion. I said, "In a far place."

    He asked, "In an orphanage?"

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    • Basement

    • Kid: *runs down the street* HELP ME!

    Officer: You OK, kid?

    Me: Don't worry! He's my nephew, there was a big spider.

    Officer: Oh, OK, ma'am. *walks off*

    When officer leaves:

    Me: *gets whip* What did I say about leaving the basement?

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    • FBI

    • My mom is in the FBI. My dad is in the FBI. My sister is in the FBI. My brother is in the FBI. And do you know what I am?

    Divorced.

    My memes

    Friend

    • An African man visits his friend in the US.

    “I just flew in yesterday,” the African man says. “And boy are my arms tired!”

    “You know, that’s kind of an old joke here in America,” replied his friend.

    “Joke?” the African man said. “I’ve been holding my hands in the air yelling ‘don’t shoot’ ever since I got to this damn country!”

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    • Part

    • What part of "Another One Bites the Dust" do you sing to a disabled person to make fun of them? "I'm standing on my own two feet."

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    • Midget

    • This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."

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