My jokes

Friend: What are you doing?

Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.

Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"

My dad died in 9/11. I'll always remember his last words:

Allah hu akbar.

The guy who stole my diary just died. My thoughts are with his family.

My friend saw your forehead and realized you're gay.

I asked God why nobody likes me. He showed a reflection of myself.

My dad was in the plane in 9/11, and he was the smart one that convinced everyone. He said, "We're fucked."

My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.

I'm black, and I have a dying family in my basement that hasn't eaten in 2 weeks. They need help.

Btw, it's a joke lol.

Roses are red, I am Groot, Honey, where's my super suit?

In my science class we were watching a video, and for no reason at all, it started talking about Black Lives Matter, and my friend leaned over and whispered, “White lives matter more!”

My great uncle died in a concentration camp.

He fell off one of the guard towers.

Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?

My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

My dad died in 9/11. He was a good pilot.

I got barred from Weight Watchers today.

It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.

Wife: "Honey? What do you think about my teeth?"

Husband: "They remind me of stars... yellow and far apart."

Deez nuts, can we get much higher?

Boioioioing boioioioing, my name Jeff.

Arabic Nokia ringtone, bingchungus, wholesome 100, everyone liked that, Keanu Reeves chungus, Ugandan Knuckles, YouTube poop XDDDDDDDDDDDD.

Why did the terrorists crash?

They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.

Lol.

Suck my balls!

My mom said she would miss me if I committed suicide, so we made it double.